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General Update

 

From Paul:

Cycle Three (Continued)

This week is week three of the new oral chemo pill ramp up. Week one began with Cycle Three on August 14. The first week was a starter dose of 20 mg per day taken once. This week finished the 50 mg per day and started with the 100 mg per day dose. Each dose increase is preceded by labs to make sure Doris’ blood is responding appropriately. Then we have a consultation with a provider, at which point we have the green light to continue the ramp up dose. Approximately 24 hours after the new dose, Doris has another lab draw to ensure she is not experiencing any serious toxic issues like Tumor Lysis Syndrome.  Each ramp up brings a little bit of discomfort and gastrointestinal issues. We are blessed that these issues seem to be resolved within a couple of days. It seems Doris is adjusting to the dosage, but it takes two or three days for her to get used to the increase.

We continued our short walks, this week, but took Friday off, because of the increase of fatigue that seems to follow the increased dosage. Doris needs a bit more help getting out of chairs. Her spirits are pretty good. There are definitely times when we would love to set cancer aside for good. But now will not be the time. We are anticipating a few days away after the medication ramp-up is complete. We hope to be able to set cancer aside for those few days.

How to help others

I learned something this week in helping Doris to her standing position from a seated position. Soris has quite a bit of shoulder and knee pain. As such, some of our couches or chairs are easier for her to get out of on her own, but for others she needs help. I found that if I squat down such that my arms are level, then reach out my arms, she can pull forward on my arms. The momentum that she generates with that approach is sufficient that she can more easily pull herself up to a standing position. I think there is a principle involved in this approach that matches how we help others.

When we want to help others, we first need to get on the level where we are on equal ground of sorts. I think this is something that I did not do very well while our children were in school, particularly in their Math homework. I was always excited to share with them the cool things that they were about to learn, instead of helping them to understand their current level of learning better. Later when our son Jonathan was taking a math class that I never had (I skipped it), I really did not have the background to lift him beyond his current station of learning. I started where he was by asking what he had learned in the lecture about how to solve the problem, then he would lead our discussion and we would get to the point where he could move forward in confidence. In this way, I think he discovered and strengthened his understanding of what he needed to accomplish.

Life’s lessons are that way. Our savior has experienced the depth of all our challenges and beyond. He was rejected by His own, betrayed by a trusted disciple, and He was left alone to suffer more than any living soul could ever suffer and He lived to tell about it. Ultimately He gave His life and was resurrected to the reassurance of us all that we too can overcome all things in Christ. Understanding this about our Lord, we can confidently trust that He has been where we are. He does not confront us with comparisons or bombard us with what the next level has in store for us. Rather, He takes us where we are. He knows the extent of our pain, our disappointment, our weakness, and succors us from that point to help us generate confidence in moving forward under His tutelage and comforting guidance.  

From Doris:

Small and simple things

I feel like the duck I saw climbing up a waterfall during one of my walks.  He was doing all he could to go against the current. I am fighting against rushing water (cancer) that wants to carry me downstream.  Sometimes I am carried downstream and must accept that for the time being, forward progress is halted.  

Even when I feel my progress is halted, I know that from Heavenly Father’s perspective, I am still going forward if I am doing all that I can.  Small and simple efforts done over a long period of time bring about results.  I learned that principle when I quilted this quilt. 

It took me 175 hours over a period of nine months to hand quilt it. I thought I would never finish.  But when it was completed, I was surprised by its beauty.

There is a parallel between my need for cancer treatments and my need for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I cannot heal my body or my spirit.  I am not strong enough, righteous enough, wise enough, etc. to heal myself.  Jesus Christ is the source of all healing. He gave man the necessary knowledge to attempt to cure cancer, but ultimately, He is the Healer of all. 

My job is to keep going forward, to fight against discouragement and setbacks, to wipe away tears of sorrow and frustration and try again.  I trust that when this journey is over, I will see the beautiful quilt my life has become through the touch of the Master’s hand.



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